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We have all had times in our lives where we have made asses out of ourselves, stuck our foot in our mouths or have been so embarrassed that we wanted to crawl in a hole and hide for the rest of our lives.
Now is the time to have some fun with those stories and possibly win something in return.
Contest will run from now Until Friday May 16th.
On the 16th a poll will be put up allowing all CAP members to vote on their favorite stories.Top 3 stories will win $25.00 accounts at any CanAffco Merchant Site.
With every contest there are always rules, but let’s keep the rules simple here! Any story that involves anything or anyone industry related must omit names and companies from their stories. Simple enough?
Only entries posted in the CanAffco section of the boards will qualify so don’t post anywhere else!
Stories can include anything professional or personal. So let’s hear them everyone and let’s have some fun.
To start this contest off I will post one of my most embarrassing stories!
As Promised! Here is one of my stories!!
Kids Say The Funniest Things:
It was Christmas time, my son was about 4, and we were in Walmart. Very crowded at Christmas time you couldn’t even move there were so many people everywhere.
I had taken my son to shop for his father, grandparents and sister for Christmas. We were in the toy isle, and there were literally probably 40 people around us elbow to elbow. We were making general conversation and I asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
Below is the conversation that took place. Please keep in mind this is a 4 year old who doesn’t know how to speak in a normal tone so this entire conversation was him talking at the top of his voice practically screaming.
Son: Well mom I don’t know what I want for Christmas but I think that I need a new wee-wee.
People around giggling
Me: Um son, can you please keep it down! We can talk about this in the car.
Son: But mom really I need a new wee-wee.
(picture him yelling almost crying here)
Me: Okay son why do you think that you need a new wee wee (whispering as quietly as I can)
Son: Because when I play with it, it gets BIG.
Me: Trying so hard not to laugh and run out of the store, I say to him “Son, you don’t need a new wee wee, that is normal really your wee wee is fine, but let’s talk about this when we get home, and I’ll have your dad explain it better to you.
Son: With the most amazed shock look, he says as loud as he can “MOM YOU MEAN DADDY PLAYS WITH HIS WEE WEE TOO”
Now at this time I turned about 500 shades of red, and everyone within 2 isles on either side of us had come to our isle to see who had said this, and literally everyone was laughing so hard.
I was able to distract him, with a toy as people laughed around us for at least the next 15 minutes.I make my way eventually to the check out isle and as I’m standing in line the lady in front of us says to her husband. “There’s that kid I told you about” And they both looked at me and him and busted out laughing.
Ok, so I”m standing at the altar with my first wife, with all the family and friends looking on and we get to the part where we exchange rings and I realize ……. I don’t have it, I left it at home!
Wow thats a tough act to follow Michelle. Let me give this some thought and see if I can remember one of similar magnitude.:3eyes:
Hey, it doesnt have to be better or worse, I just wanna hear some funny stuff! Could have even happened to someone else and you were just there! LOL
And the good news is mine won’t be judged!! So everyone has a chance here.ok, you asked for it, and i don’t think anyone is going to be able to top this!..lol….please don’t look at me differently after reading this ! lollll
at 17 and still a virgin, i went out with a nice enough guy and had a couple of drinks, and got tipsy, lol…went back to his parents place where he had the basement as his little pad.
i had decided earlier that this was going to be “the night”…so things move along nicely, and i am nervous as hell, scared, a little drunk,…but mostly scared.
He does not know i am still a virgin, so being slow was not on the menu! lol…anyway, during the event, i was so scared….i pooped myself! lollllllllll
and he didn’t even know it!!!!!….i was soooooo embarresed, i ran to the bathroom, and cleaned up…and ran home!
lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Top that embarrising moment…hope i didn’t gross anyone out?? lolllllllllll
Trips
Trips,
That is fantastic! You know I know embarrassing things happen, but years later when we can laugh about them, and share them with eachother is what makes it all worth it. Thank you for sharing that with us!! That will be a true confession hard to beat. LOL!
You know sometime I’ll share another story with you!Well thats the first time someone said “thanks for sharing that with us”
LMAOOOOOO
I told Bonusstreak about it a couple of years ago, and she still isn’t over it!
LMAOOOOOOO
When I was about 14 at High School we had a 3 storey building and on the top floor was a bunch of guys who used to stand there at every lunch break and whenever I used to cross the quad they used to wolf whistle and shout suggestive comments to me. Being young and easily embarressed – I used to try and avoid this particular route.
However, one day I was walking with a friend and sure enough the wolf whistles started, so feeling brave, because I had my friend with me – I looked up and gave them “the finger” – but I did it with such force that my finger went into my eye and my contact lense popped out – so there I was crawling around on the floor amidst loud guffaws of laughter coming from the top floor.
Needless to say – I never ever walked that route again!!!Ok ok…not sure I can top those but hey, I’ll try.
Back in Y2K and was doing some web development for one of the top financial institutions in the world. Huge and v. important account for us as a small company. At the time, I had a very good girl friend who just happened to have the same name as the Account Manager at said company.
So one day, our receptionist calls me up and says “Hiya, I have Helen on the line for you“. I was expecting a call from my friend who was heavily pregnant and due at any time.
So “Heya fat bitch, have you dropped yet?” is probably not a line I’ll ever use on the phone again!! :sarcasm:
And in case you wondered, yes we somehow managed to keep the account.
Those are great. !! Thanks for sharing!
Let’s keep them coming everyone! And remember it can be something that happened to you, or a friend, something you saw or heck just tell us a really funny story we’re not picky!!
Ok here’s one of my favorite faux pax moments in my former life as an engineer.
For ten years I worked for a manufaturer of high tech security devices here in the states. I traveled all over the US, Canada and Western Europe managing large projects and training other engineers and end users on our products.
We had many Enterprise and governmental clients in the UK and I was heavily involved in supporting our products within that country. During the course of business I often took our clients to lunch or dinner. These guests tended to be high ranking executives or government officials. All care was taken by our staff to present a serious and professional image as we were responsible for the handling and securing of sensitive materials.
So thats that sort of group I was with one day when we went out for lunch. We chose a very nice Indian restaurant as curries are very popular in the UK and I love Indian food myself. During lunch the waitor non chalantly placed a plate of what appeared to be green beans on the table next to me. I glanced at them and assumed they were indeed french style string beans so I placed a spoonful of them on my plate.
Lunch progressed and I was chatting it up with the clients when I pick up three or four of these “beans” and threw them in my mouth and began to chew. Turns out they were the hottest peppers I had ever tasted and I was in serious trouble. I didn’t want to make a scene or spit them out in front of the clients so I ate them! My lips felt like they were on fire and I was having difficulty even breathing. Sweat was pouring down my face, but through all of this I tried to act like nothing was wrong. I ate bread, I drank water, I ordered a Mango Lassi and nothing seemed to help, the agony continued.
I would imagine my guests noticed something was wrong, but since they didnt want to embarras me they played it off as nothing unusual was going on. I went to the gents and washed out my mouth and even used soap as I was so desperate for the pain to go. That helped a little. Over time the flames did die down, but I mas terribly embarassed. Thank heavans no one mentioned a thing.
That’s my moment. Embarassing and Painful. Something must be wrong with me as when I look back on it now I find the whole thing humorus in a Monthy Python sort of way.
:3eyes:Professor,
the people at your table probably thought you were “holding in a fart”LMAOOOOOOOOO
Simmo..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Good ones guys, made me laugh! lollll
Trips
ok, i have another one!! lollll
I am full of these things. lolllBack in the day before i was married to me hubby, i had invited him over for a nice night of dinner and movie. So during the day, i was getting everything ready , including myself. So showering and freshening up was on the schedule.
Well, us ladies like to feel all “fresh” when we think we might be having a night of dinner and sex..lol….so a douche was in order..loll
Well, i did not have one, and had no time to go to the store to buy one, but the brilliant woman that i am, i figured, hey, i can make my own…..lol
You can buy vinegar and water ones at the store, and i have water, and i have vinegar in the fridge, so i have all the needed materials,
so i proceeded to make my own home made douche….lollllll
well, i knew the minute i was in the shower and used my brilliant contraption, that something was wronggggg….cause it burned like hell!!!!
so, i suffered through the burn, and it went away, and then it felt all tingly and fresh, so i thought, ok, its over, and i feel fresh. everything is ok…lol
My future hubby shows up later, and we are sitting on the couch waiting for dinner, when he looks at me and says…”Did you make a salad for dinner”??
Cause i can smell a salad!OMG>>>>
LOLLL….lollllll..i almost died.!
Needless to say, i threw together a salad that wasn’t planned and spent the rest of the night on the arm chair in the living room !!! lolll…and no, no sex that night.
lolllllllll
